Fitting in.

This week has been somewhat rough for me. Work has been exhausting, which in turn makes me not want to go to the gym. So I don't. Makes me want to eat bad. So I do. Ugh. I have no one to blame but myself. The thing I keep telling myself is to not give up. There are small bumps which you can get over, just can't get stuck going up a hill.

I had a bra fitting today. One of my issues with working out at the gym and running, is my chest. I have a large chest and they tend to get in the way. I would wear two bras to try and pack them in, still wouldn't work. I wanted to invest in a good sports bra, but before I made a big purchase I wanted to find out exactly what size I was.

And the results shocked me.

I went to {intimacy} which is a store that specifically sells bras for every type of woman. The fitting was a new experience and kind of embarrassing. I took off my shirt, my current bra, and everything was hanging loose. I'm very self conscious and it took me a minute to relax and tell myself that she wasn't judging me, and it's her job to do this. She sees breasts all the time. I went from wearing a 38 DD to a 24 GG. That's insane. But, I feel so much better. I look so much better. I'm just, better. It's amazing. I walked away with three bras, two regular ones and a sports bra. When I tried on the sports bra I jumped around, jogged in place, they didn't budge. I can't wait to go test that bad boy out at the gym.

My parents are coming to visit me soon (they live in Arizona, I live in Michigan), and will arrive here on May 31st. I got little over a month to drop some more pounds. Hopefully I can do it, I need to do it. I need to back away from the fatty foods. It's really difficult for me. Especially at work. I work in a grocery store. In the bakery. Food is everywhere... I just have to keep my eye on the prize. Maybe I'll start chewing gum or something. I don't know.

I never know what to say to end a blog. It's kind of weird. So, until next time.

Starting over.

Okay, so I have revamped my blog, deleted all my posts and added a new header. It's a new start.

I love writing, always have, always will. So much so that I have a gaming blog (yes, I'm also an avid video game player) over at 1UP.com. Sadly, that's been neglected lately due to my lack of gaming!

Anyway.

I wanted to start my life over. I am so sick of looking in the mirror and wondering why I am always this miserable person. I have such a negative body image of myself, it's sickening. I started my journey maybe 6 or so months ago, off an on. Joined a gym. Started a diet. Kept consistent...? Not so much. My starting weight was 190 lbs. Currently I'm around 165-170 lbs., I'm not really sure to be honest. I've fallen off the wagon quite a few times, and have just recently (as in within the last week) started back up again. This time (I always say this) it'll be different. I have set a goal. Not to be at a certain weight... But I have set a goal to get myself to run a 5k. I found that I kept obsessing with the numbers. Yes I want to be skinnier, but not to the point where I'm starving myself to get there. I want to be healthy. I want to be fit. I want to be one of those girls who crosses the finish line in a marathon.

Yes, that will be me. Someday.

I sometimes feel like I'm alone in this en devour. So, I wanted to talk about my experiences, the good and the bad. Post pictures of my journey, how far I've come and how far I still need to go. Sort of a... online scrap book. Not only to share with people (if any that read this) but for myself too. To see the progress I have made and reassure myself that yes, I can do this, look what I've already done.

So, here's blog entry number one! Hopefully the beginning of many more to come.